Doctor Day

I went to see my neurologist this morning. Dr. Sheehy is in his seventy's and sharp as a tack - a brilliant man! Hailing from Mobile, Alabama, he's a true Southern gentleman. As always, he instills absolute trust in me. He is gentle and caring and on top of what is going on with my brain even when I am not. Plus he writes down important things I need to do, like tapering off the experimental medication that has not produced the hoped for improvement in my memory and focus. I try to concentrate on everything we talk about and his directions but always feel like I have lost some of it.

I am always exhausted after a visit to either of my doctors. Concentrating that hard makes me tired... and I don't drive when I am that tired, no one should. So I often take a nap in my car after a doctor's visit. Today I took my nap at a McDonald's not far from Dr. Sheehy's office. I didn't sleep long and when I awoke I was startled by a very grimy man looking in at me through the window. I felt uncomfortable and somehow exposed, which isn't like me. I said a prayer for the man who appeared to be homeless and perhaps mentally ill (he was wearing several layers of heavy clothing, picking at his face and ears and gesturing wildly) and I left.

I thought about my reaction to the man as I drove home. How easily I could also be homeless. Indeed, it is only God's grace which has provided a safe and pleasant home for me. I wondered where this man slept last night and prayed for him again. It had not even occurred to me to speak to him or offer to buy him a meal. That, too, is unlike me.

By the time I got home, I was again wiped out and fell asleep for three hours. When I woke up I went out and sprayed plant killer on the weeds growing up through the cracks in my sidewalk and invading my flower garden. I also sprayed "good" plants growing in the wrong place, and it made me think of the man at McDonald's again. He had no place to "grow," and he looked like a weed, so I had removed myself from his stare as quickly as I could. I was not feeling guilty about that but more or less confused.

I am normally gregarious and will talk to anyone. I also welcome eye contact. Not today. Not from this man. Perhaps I didn't feel able to cope with his odd behavior, or maybe I was a little afraid of him. That's just not like me. Well, it's not like the pre-TBI me, anyway. I felt vulnerable and uncomfortable. Too bad.

Our oldest daughter called and made my day. She is in Monterey and her youngest is coming out in June. June is going to be a very busy month for me. Some good, some unknown stuff happening. I really need to get everything in order so I can be ready for it all. A daughter's wedding, a family reunion, a deposition, a doctor exam to determine my workmen's comp case... and possibly a house hunting trip.

Another nice surprise was an email from a dear friend which contained a link to his blog at http://livingintension.blogspot.com/ I wasn't aware of his blog and am so blessed by it. I highly recommend you read it starting with the archives which date back to March of this year.

We had left overs for dinner and I made up a great new dessert recipe using mescarpone cheese. It's absolutely delicious and I'm really quite proud of it. Sweet and delicate yet very rich and smooth. I put it on puff pastry shells and topped it with sweetened strawberries. I wish I had measured things and written it down.

Well, my thoughts have meandered lazily through my day and woven into every minute was the closeness and caring of my Lord. The King of the universe has been intimately involved and interested in every detail. How awesome is that!?!