LOST
Whoa! I thought I had blogged daily but see I am way behind. I believe I wrote, but cannot now recall for sure. That's true of quite a few things in my life... oh well.
Right now, I am in a motel in Beaumont, Texas. I came here sometime yesterday afternoon, I think. I left home Thursday evening. I had planned to leave in the morning but getting ready required more time and help than I expected. That's also true of quite a few things in my life... oh well.
The trip has already been an adventure. I got lost in a rest area. When I came out of the building after using the facilities, I couldn't find the cars - ANY cars, not just mine. Being disoriented as I leave public rest rooms is normal for me, but as sometimes happens, I began to bog down cognitively and could not remember what I was driving (the car or pickup) or if I was traveling alone or with Richard... or maybe Donna was with me? I wasn't sure.
Then I found the parking lot after circling the buildings several times -- this was a large rest area with landscaping and a long walkway. The security guard had been eyeing me and now approached me. I didn't have my purse, so no I.D. I also didn't know what I was driving and he wouldn't accept multiple choice. I didn't know where I was, just on I-10, not which state just then. Plus I didn't know if I was with anyone. I was a suspicious character, indeed!
It occurred to me that I was about to "flood" (become mentally overwhelmed to the point of being unable to process or respond to people, info, etc) and that this guy might think I was on drugs and arrest me, or perhaps have me sent to some hospital for psychological observation.
In answer to silent prayer, I spotted my car and produced the keys from my pocket. I can't remember what happened next, but that seemed to make everything better and I was soon on my way. When my thinking cleared, I remembered I was traveling alone but checked the luggage just to make sure. I didn't want to have to go back in search of Richard or Donna nor did I want to have given them the scare of thinking I had forgotten them and driven away without them.
The Lord takes such good care of me! Cell phone conversations with Richard and Donna have kept me on "the straight and narrow" so I have remembered to do all the necessary things like sleep and eat and check road signs. Except for turning out of our community (because I forgot how to get to the freeway) I have not gotten lost on the highway and indeed have come up with a new and better strategy for navigating... but I haven't the time, energy or words to write it out just now.
Instead, here is a copy of my email to Richard:
I LOVE YOU!!!
I just woke up... Have probably slept 12 hours but am feeling refreshed and ready to start a new day. I have prayed and as always thanked God for the incredible blessings He has given me... Salvation... life... you are among the top.
I really wish I could express how much I love you, how deeply I respect you and admire your gentleness and basic goodness. I love the kindness that is at your core. I love it that you make me feel better about myself.....
I wish I were pretty; you call me beautiful (I love that). I wish my brain worked again (properly); you call me intelligent, smart.... and you are patient with me when I can't think or remember. I know it's frustrating for you; it's maddening for me. Thank you so for your amazing patience, especially as I was getting ready to leave and less able to think. When my brain gets overwhelmed and is beginning to be go under, no one is more expert than you at guiding me out of the flood and back to safe harbors.
I long to be witty and quick and confident that I could learn or do anything I wanted. Instead, although I am a million times better, I am still dull and slow. I shudder to think of the problems we would have had if the rest area security guard had tried to detain me as I was fairly sure he planned to do. At the time, I had it in my head to jump in the car and race away... now, I see it was a bad idea.
I know it seems impossible, but I see that I have forgotten to bring several things... oh well, as Donna told me today, there is always Wal-Mart. She reminded me to eat something besides the granola bars I brought and gave me her usual pep talk. I am so glad she will be going with me from California.
I miss you much already. Love our little dogs for me. Did I tell you that I love you? Well, I do!!!
Lovingly,
iona
Right now, I am in a motel in Beaumont, Texas. I came here sometime yesterday afternoon, I think. I left home Thursday evening. I had planned to leave in the morning but getting ready required more time and help than I expected. That's also true of quite a few things in my life... oh well.
The trip has already been an adventure. I got lost in a rest area. When I came out of the building after using the facilities, I couldn't find the cars - ANY cars, not just mine. Being disoriented as I leave public rest rooms is normal for me, but as sometimes happens, I began to bog down cognitively and could not remember what I was driving (the car or pickup) or if I was traveling alone or with Richard... or maybe Donna was with me? I wasn't sure.
Then I found the parking lot after circling the buildings several times -- this was a large rest area with landscaping and a long walkway. The security guard had been eyeing me and now approached me. I didn't have my purse, so no I.D. I also didn't know what I was driving and he wouldn't accept multiple choice. I didn't know where I was, just on I-10, not which state just then. Plus I didn't know if I was with anyone. I was a suspicious character, indeed!
It occurred to me that I was about to "flood" (become mentally overwhelmed to the point of being unable to process or respond to people, info, etc) and that this guy might think I was on drugs and arrest me, or perhaps have me sent to some hospital for psychological observation.
In answer to silent prayer, I spotted my car and produced the keys from my pocket. I can't remember what happened next, but that seemed to make everything better and I was soon on my way. When my thinking cleared, I remembered I was traveling alone but checked the luggage just to make sure. I didn't want to have to go back in search of Richard or Donna nor did I want to have given them the scare of thinking I had forgotten them and driven away without them.
The Lord takes such good care of me! Cell phone conversations with Richard and Donna have kept me on "the straight and narrow" so I have remembered to do all the necessary things like sleep and eat and check road signs. Except for turning out of our community (because I forgot how to get to the freeway) I have not gotten lost on the highway and indeed have come up with a new and better strategy for navigating... but I haven't the time, energy or words to write it out just now.
Instead, here is a copy of my email to Richard:
I LOVE YOU!!!
I just woke up... Have probably slept 12 hours but am feeling refreshed and ready to start a new day. I have prayed and as always thanked God for the incredible blessings He has given me... Salvation... life... you are among the top.
I really wish I could express how much I love you, how deeply I respect you and admire your gentleness and basic goodness. I love the kindness that is at your core. I love it that you make me feel better about myself.....
I wish I were pretty; you call me beautiful (I love that). I wish my brain worked again (properly); you call me intelligent, smart.... and you are patient with me when I can't think or remember. I know it's frustrating for you; it's maddening for me. Thank you so for your amazing patience, especially as I was getting ready to leave and less able to think. When my brain gets overwhelmed and is beginning to be go under, no one is more expert than you at guiding me out of the flood and back to safe harbors.
I long to be witty and quick and confident that I could learn or do anything I wanted. Instead, although I am a million times better, I am still dull and slow. I shudder to think of the problems we would have had if the rest area security guard had tried to detain me as I was fairly sure he planned to do. At the time, I had it in my head to jump in the car and race away... now, I see it was a bad idea.
I know it seems impossible, but I see that I have forgotten to bring several things... oh well, as Donna told me today, there is always Wal-Mart. She reminded me to eat something besides the granola bars I brought and gave me her usual pep talk. I am so glad she will be going with me from California.
I miss you much already. Love our little dogs for me. Did I tell you that I love you? Well, I do!!!
Lovingly,
iona
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