A Quick Hello

Sorry for the missed posts. Thusday I had Women of Grace in the morning and a doctor's appointment in the afternoon. I rested in the car an hour before trying to drive homw, but still was cognitively fatigued and couldn't get a blog out by evening.

Yesterday morning I was trying to get ready and do the undone Thursday things so as to be ready to leave by noon. Joe is watching our home and pets. He was there when we left... and I must say, this is the most comfortable I have ever been leaving our critters. We left not long after our scheduled time but no blog.

We got here late but ate anyway. I was starved. I had been sick during the trip down. I think I got some bad food at a drive in... but my body was effective in getting it out of my system... aggressively!


Then when I crawled into the pillow soft bed here, I slept until just a bit ago. I was awakened by a call from our granddaughter who is getting married tomorrow. We will meet them in about an hour for some visiting and hugging and maybe get acquainted with the groom and his family.

I am praying all will be blessed here. I have found a new way of helping cope with the stimulus overload served up by casinos... I'm wearing my dark glasses. It helps. I am blessed, too, that I don't hear well.

I'm not sure when I'll get Handmaidens doen or get another blog out. I know I owe some emails also, but as my docter again warned, I must choose carefully who and where to spend my cognitive energy.. and right now, I'm concenterating on the wedding and my family.

So, keep me in your prayers that I don't get lost again (was lost a bit last night when Richard went to the men's room and I forgot he had told me that). And that I can be a blessing to folks, not a drag.

Oh, Rats!

One of the things on the top of my "to do" list today was to sweep the garage. I had allocated half an hour to do that... it ended up taking me all day. Sometimes I start projects, get distracted and go on to partly do ten other things before coming back (if I ever come back) to the first project. On those days doing nothing takes all day but I work all day anyway.

Today was not like that. I stayed on task and swept the garage... until I found the droppings. The droppings were from a BIG mouse or rat. I pulled all kinds of boxes and containers away from the wall and behind them discovered a whole lot more droppings, a chewed up umbrella, a suitcase with a whole eaten in it... aaagggh!

When Richard came home, he opened the suitcase to see what was in it and came face to face with the biggest rat either of us have ever seen! The rat ran and was out of sight in no time. He didn't like us any better than we liked him.

Upon examination, we find that we have created an attractive habitat for rats and other rodents because we have cat food and dog food that are accessible to other animals as well. There is always fresh water in our garage, and a pet door for easy access, so I am sure the rats felt right at home, indeed I imagine they felt welcome. Well they are NOT welcome! I want them gone.

We carefully put all pet food inside sealed plastic containers. No more munchies for rats. The water will stay, as will the door, but the food is no longer available. We also moved all the boxes, etc. away from any walls so rodents won't have a comfortable hiding place.

We have some little high pitched noise maker things that are supposed to drive away all sorts of unwanted creatures. I am going to look them up and plug them in. When we lived on the High Plains of eastern Colorado I used these little noise makers and we did not have mice from the prairie like most of our neighbors. It's an effective and humane way to keep rodents out of your dwelling place.

I am sure God had a reason for creating rats, and I have even met some laboratory rats I made friends with. But I don't want to make friends with any of these rats and I am praying they all leave and never return.

More Weddings

Richard and I are getting ready for another wedding. That's right we are having more weddings in our family. One is April 30, the other June 17. When you have a big family you can count on lots of weddings eventually. This April wedding is our granddaughter Trudy who is marrying her longtime beau Chi next Sunday in Las Vegas.

If you have been reading my blogs for very long, you know I don't do very well in noisy or busy environments. So as I prepare to make the trip I am also trying to mentally prepare to tolerate all the stimulation of Las Vegas and still keep my wits about me. I actually think I'll do much better this time than I did my last two visits to Las Vegas.

We are going down Friday so we will have all day Saturday to get ready and just relax. Then Sunday will be a busy day with the wedding at noon and the reception at a different casino resort later in the day.

It's an exciting time for every one when a beautiful family member gets married in a fairy tale setting like they create in some Las Vegas venues. This wedding will be at the Paris and the reception at the Belagio. The bride Trudy is the oldest daughter of our eldest son and there is much excitement and anticipation about her wedding.

Right now I am trying to get the house ready, nice and clean because we are having a house sitter come stay with our animals while we are away, not only that but I like to come home to a nice clean house. There's nothing worse than coming home tired from a trip and having to clean house before you can relax.

My blog is early today, and by the end of the day I hope to have all my housework done so I can concentrate on getting the May Issue of Handmaidens finished before we leave.

Opinionated People

In just a few days we will be leaving for an out of town wedding and there is much to do to get ready. Even so, when my friend Ruth invited me to go to town with her I accepted. She is a really neat lady and I welcomed the opportunity to get to know her better.

Like me, Ruth is an Apple fan. She has an iMac pretty similar to mine. So where do two Mac addicts go? To the Apple store of course! I always love going to the Apple store but I also hate it because I am so tempted to splurge and buy all kinds of wonderful accessories and software I can't afford. Today I held on to my cash but I also resolved to spend some of it once we're back from the wedding.

Ruth got an incredible deal on training, just $99 for one individual lesson every week for a full year. That it is less than $2 an hour for private lessons on the Mac or any software... you name what you want to learn and they individually teach you! You can't be that anywhere. That's where my money's going... if I have any left after the trip.

After we left the Apple store, Ruth and I stopped to visit a friend of hers and she heard the sad news that her friend had passed away. How kind God was to have me be there so she didn't have to receive that news alone. When we left that house Ruth took me to dinner at Mr. Perry's. We enjoyed a leisurely meal talking about the Lord, immigration, our children and a variety of other subjects.

I like visiting with Ruth. She is opinionated. So am I. I say that as a compliment to both of us. We have strong opinions and are not afraid to voice them. I do note, however that we can do so tactfully. We did not agree on several subjects and had a lively conversation that was also a loving conversation. It was fun to be able to explore ideas with someone who is not offended when you don't agree with them. Ruth is cool!

I have always been opinionated, but I have not always been tactful or considerate. Sometimes I still speak without thinking and wound someone else unintentionally. While I don't want to be wishy washy or compromise my opinion, I am more concerned about hurting people. I have prayed and the Lord has heard and I do believe I am a kinder, gentler opinionated person than I used to be.

Sunday Again

Once again I am basking into the afterglow of a wonderful Sunday, my favorite day of the week. As usual, the highlight of my Sunday was meeting with my local church family at FBC. We usually go to the early service then Sunday School but today I overslept and we did "church" after Sunday School.

After we drove our teen friend Alex home, we stopped by to pick up some tables we had loaned to Pastor Rob's wife, Cathy. Then it was home to enjoy a lunch of left overs and some time of puzzle building and just enjoying being with each other. Soon, I became drowsy and took a nap. Like many TBI survivors, I often become fatigued after participating in any activity that requires me to keep track of what's going on, so by the time I've done church, Sunday School and a conversation or two, I'm done in... sometimes for the rest of the day. I was still groggy after my nap, but made a simple supper of scrambles eggs with leeks, prosciutto and cheeses, and cheese biscuits.

By ten, I began to get my "second wind" and am still up. No doubt I need to get my scattered sleep patterns under control. But for now, I am thankful for all God has placed in my life... the people, the pets, a nice home, enough to eat and basically all I need and really want. I am thankful for Sunday again.

Finishing the Year

I finally finished uploading all of my 2005 journals and blogs to my Live Journal site at http://ionaruth.livejournal.com/ so now I have a continuum in one place at least. I have some editing to do on the November and December posts since not all the code generated works in my vJournal software from which I upload to LJ.

Funny, even though I have to catch up to date for 2006, having completed 2005 gives me a real feeling of satisfaction. I've been working on this project for some time and now have reached a milestone of sorts. A good feeling.

Benchmarks, milestones rites of passage... we humans relate and respond to such things in an unexplainable way. Say what you want, but ceremonies are vitally important to the human experience. Graduations are more meaningful if there is a ceremony.
I graduated from college the same day as my daughter Stephanie graduated from high school. I missed both ceremonies. I was driving truck at the time and had a breakdown so didn't make it home in time. That saddens me. My granddaughter Alena (in Michigan) will graduate from high school soon. I had planned to go but may not be able to... I'm still praying about that.

Richard and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary by renewing our vows. We didn't have much of a ceremony when we were first wed. Two very nervous grown ups married at the courthouse in Reno, Nevada. Thirty years later, the ceremony meant more than I could have ever imagined.

The same God who created us knew the importance of ceremonies, special rites and days... He authored the most important ones, marriage and baptism then gave us the Lord's Supper as a recurring reminder of His love in which we can participate. Other special days like Easter and Christmas have great meaning and depth for believers.

Yes, it feels good to have completed 2005, and I am inspired to continue to upload until I am up to date.

A Nice Boring Day

At last the piles are gone! All the papers sorted and in their right resting places. Now I am ready to tackle the the books, the financial records. I use Quicken and just enter the info from our receipts and checks to keep track of where we are with money. The software offers many other features, however I don't take advantage of those, they are beyond where I can go.

Richard lot of edging done in the yard today as well, so between us we feel pretty accomplished this evening. Tomorrow, I will tackle house cleaning. Spring cleaning is certainly in order right now for my place.

Today really didn't have any outstanding features, and that's nice. A good, quiet Friday is a blessing.

Right now I am just happily tired and will try to get some sleep. Last night I was up late and could not sleep after I laid down, then when I finally did sleep, I slept until noon. Days like that seem half wasted.

I know this isn't a very stimulating or exciting blog to read today, but it's all that I have.

Critical Mass

Once again papers are stacked in piles all over the house. They are close to critical mass stage and must be dealt with soon. Already not staying on top of things and keeping up with inputting receipts has cost us a bounced check and the possibility that our check to the IRS may not clear. This should not still be happening!

My therapists helped me set up a folder system. In a standing file the folders serve to prevent lost bills, receipts and any sort of pending paperwork. The system works great... when I use it faithfully. But just like my planner, I deviate when I'm in a hurry, tired, distracted, cognitively cocky or just plain lazy... that's a lot of deviation, folks!

The same thing happens with the classes I try to teach. Donna got me a great little folding file (purse size) in which I keep a section for each class, a card for each member of the class and an ongoing list of prayer requests and notes. Wonderful! Except I could not find it... not for Wednesday night, not for Thursday morning. But then during the Women of Grace meeting, I spotted it in the choir room. I must have left it there last week.

Clearly, I need to refocus. Easier said than done, at least for me. I notice, too, that when my life becomes more chaotic, I have not spent time alone with the Lord in prayer and in His Word as regularly as I should. There is an obvious connection.

On an upbeat side, I remembered to take tables to Cathy for her Avon party Saturday (local folks, don't forget to go). I also remembered to make a promised business call, and I found and finished the lost birthday cards and gifts (some from as far back as January!)... all of which are big steps. Also, Richard and I investigated two possible sources of consolidating our credit card debt, and prayerfully decided against them both. What's the point if there is no savings in interest charges? Both places were pushing us to borrow more than we needed, asking us to imagine all we could do with the "extra" cash. I'm pleased we were not even tempted to bite that apple!

So as I sit here surrounded by piles of papers, I praise God for a beautifully bright day and the promise of His help tomorrow when I will tackle this mess.

Beyond Words

I am home from Wednesday Night Ladies Bible Study. Having just returned from Stanford, I was really tired when I went, but after two hours with my beautiful Savior and the beautiful ladies in the group, I am more than refreshed, I am renewed. Something amazing happens when folks get together and Jesus is part of the gathering. The spoken word is augmented by the message of the Holy Spirit to the receptive heart of each one present. I have "heard" from God, and my spirit is light.

I had gotten lost coming from Donna's home to mine (I tried a shortcut) so was late getting here. I didn't have time to review the lesson one last time before going to the study, and I really need that. I always go over the lesson five or six times knowing I will miss (forget) some parts each time. Sometimes I make notes, but often my scribbles are meaningless once they're cold.

I am very familiar with the Scriptures she is using, but want to focus on what Beth Moore is doing with it in this study, Breaking Free. This evening we had a lesson and a video along with delightful refreshments. Francie is a lovely and gracious hostess.

There was an added treat for me this evening. Francie's husband (I forgot his name) showed me his paintings. Being the shy self that I am, I asked to see them. They are quite good. Like me, he is a fan of Bob Ross and has done some in that style. He has a nice collection of the Ross videos, too.

I love seeing how different artists paint what they see or think or feel. I have some truly great paintings done by my daughter Athena who is one of the most effective painters of emotion I have ever encountered. Two of them relate to family members and the pain of death, defeat and disease. They are the most precious of my earthly possessions for they speak of feelings I have never been able to express... there are simply no adequate words avail
able to me.

Art and music have always said a great deal to me. Aromas, too, surpass the ability of words to transport me to a special place in memory or evoke certain emotions. I believe that our limited ability to express ourselves fully with words, art, music, etc. will fall away when we reach our heavenly dwelling place for I feel there will be a communication there with which we are completely unfamiliar here.

Guarded by God.

Today, when Donna and I returned to the parking garage after her treatment, we found the trunk of my car open wide. We had been inside the cancer Center for almost five hours, and I hurried to the car, fearing our things might be gone. But God had watched over us and everything, including my laptop was just as we left it. We were parked right near the walkway to the hospital and many, many people would have passed by that open invitation to theft, yet nothing was touched... God had been guarding our things!

Now, we are snuggled in to our cozy motel room. We have eaten a delicious lasagne that Donna brought and I am trying to cope with a mind breaking headache. They come several times a week and have been since my injury. They don't seem to be connected with any particular activity, time or physical state... they are totally random. In spite of the pain pills I took, this one is unrelenting so I will sign off for now.

A Taxing Day

A Taxing Day
April 15 fell on Saturday this year, so income tax returns were due before midnight today, the 17. I was very proud we had our income tax returns ready to mail. We even had them done a day early.

In addition to our own taxes, I do that taxes of a blind friend. I have done Sam's taxes for years and understand his situation pretty well. His return it is really fairly simple he does have some investments that modern Turbo tax allows me to plug in the numbers from the 1099's and come up with an accurate return.

So when we had finished our own taxes, I was prepped to do Sam's 2005 return. However the software told me that 2004 had not been completed yet. I checked it out, and indeed the computer was correct! Sam taxes have not been done for 2004. At some point I had gathered the material in a folder and that folder was in his drawer of the filing cabinet, but then I must have forgotten all about it until yesterday.

Fortunately, Sam does not owe any taxes, but he could have received a refund a year ago, money he could have used or at least earned interest on. I will need to tell him that once again I have goofed up his affairs. I take care of paying Sam builds and doing his paperwork. It's not a complex affair because he lives quite simply but there are times when I a cause problems, like in January when I forgot to pay any bills. his or ours.


Like Richard, Sam is very tolerant of my brain lapses and refuses to seek help elsewhere they both preserve my dignity and let me keep trying they both remind me usually but somehow the income tax fell through the cracks. Long years ago, I had gotten Sam out of a big mess with the IRS after the $600,hr. guy failed, Sam and I go farther back than that, it's almost a family thing.


On another, note tomorrow morning I go again to Stanford with Donna. I am looking forward to it. I enjoy her company and it's nice to be a place where I can't do anything. In the a apheresis lab you can set and watch TV or you can just sit. You can't clean nor do any of the work being done there. It's kind of nice to just sit.


I have not packed for the trip yet, nor have I've gotten together our food, I think that I'll do those things in the morning because as I am just too tired to do them now... I have spent several hours today transferring my old blocks to live journal so there would be continuity from my journals into my blogs I am up to about October 15, 2005.

Easter Joys

Easter has always been one of my favorite holidays. This Easter was no exception. It was rainy and I was tired so we went to the 11 o’clock service. Our little church was almost packed and it was great to see a full house. Pastor Rob preached a wonderful sermon about death and salvation; about rebirth and resurrection. I recall the music was great and included some of my favorites, but I cannot now remember what we sang.

We came home after church and spent the afternoon putting a jigsaw puzzle together and finishing some paperwork projects. Well, that is not exactly true, there are still piles of paperwork all over the kitchen counters, so we didn't quite finish. They will be taken care of tomorrow, I hope.

All in all it was a quiet day; a restful day; a day of joy. There was time for prayer and contemplation of God's most priceless gift to men. It is good to know that Jesus lives. It is good to know that I will see him. He is my Easter Joy way and I am His.

Sunday's On the Way!

It's been quite as Saturday, but Sunday's on the way!

All day long I thought it was Friday, I thought I had a whole new day to get things ready for Easter. Tonight Richard tells me this is Saturday and tomorrow morning it's Easter. It's probably just as well I've thought it was Friday because I didn't feel pressured and I've worked on my planner list.

Actually, I got quite a bit done today. In fact, with the deadline just around the corner, we finished our income tax returns, both federal and state. I was quite upset at how much we owed. For many years I prepared taxes professionally as part of TechniWrite Services. I kept up with the laws and knew how to save tax dollars legally. All that is past now and I am at the mercy of an unfair tax code just like everyone else.

I didn't get much else done on my list today except fixing a nice ham dinner and I just now baked a cake even though it's 1:30 in the morning. I like to cook at night. I like to clean and night. In fact, night time is my best time. And this night in particular my thinking turns to that long ago Saturday night after Jesus died on the cross on that fateful Friday we now commemorate as Good Friday.

I wonder where Jesus was on that Saturday night. Some people say He was in hell, but I don't think so. On the cross, He told the thief, "Today, you will be with Me in paradise." That tells me that Jesus went from death to paradise on the same day. He had already suffered separation from the Father, for He cried out, "My God. My God, why have You forsaken Me?"... and perhaps He passed through outer darkness or hell on the way to Glory... I don't know. I'll ask him when I see Him.

His promise to this thief also tells me that on the day I die, I will be with Him in paradise. Because He was resurrected I can count on my own resurrection just as He promised. What to a glorious future!

Looking back at my Saturday, I had a wonderful surprise. My beautiful and talented daughter Athena called and we had a nice talk. She has been reading my old blogs and the journal I posted on my Live Journal pages . She said good things about what she read. Just as I saw her in a new and wonderful light since I've read her journals, she is getting acquainted with me in a whole new way.

I am not the same person I was when she was growing up. I had a large family to raise and for some of the time had to carry that weight alone, except for the Lord. Sadly, I didn't rely on Him and trust Him as much as I should have, so I felt I had to do it all, and do it right! Also, I made the mistake of not letting my kids know how vulnerable and afraid I sometimes felt. I didn't let them see that part of me for many reasons... AWAT

Ah, but God is the great Redeemer and has not let those times go wasted. If you've had some tough times too, you can be sure He will redeem them for you if you trust Him. Just remember it might have been dark on Friday, and uncertain on Saturday, but Sunday's on the way!

Donna's Not Dead!

If you've been reading my blogs very long, you know about my niece Donna. Every other week I go to Stanford Cancer Center with Donna so she can receive two apheresis treatments within a 36-hour time frame. We are gone two days each time.

Donna needs these treatments for "Host versus Graft" disease as a result of a bone marrow transplant by which God miraculously healed her from what was to be a fatal disease: two forms of leukemia. Her doctors said she was not going to make it. ONE OF THEM WAS QUITE POINTED ABOUT IT.

But Donna's not dead. Below is an email I got from her a few minutes ago. Quoted with permission:

Hey You two! I hope your day has gone smooth. I caught up on my emails and blogs from your way and it sounds like you had quite a week! I too have had an interesting week. But it is so true, as we Christians well know, but sometimes forget. That we should just give it to the LORD! All is well in his hands.

As I traveled through the sites catching up on my reading , I clicked on to Iona's Myspace. As I did I saw Jesus being beaten. It took me back in time. I found my self flashing back on the day when I was told I would die. But at that movement the Lord gave me peace in my heart and a whisper in my ear that I would not die. My lord gave me a gift of faith and I never looked back.

Oh! but how satan tried to discourage. But the Lord Reigns!!! So when I saw the beating I remembered that when I was at my worst with no hair or fingernails, no food and hooked up to every machine imaginable, I would think that if Jesus could go through what he did I could get through this! And here I am today! I still try to remember to live by that. And the nice thing about being a child of God is........
..........He reminds us and he never forgets!!!!!!!!!!
Love You two & All
LOVE DONNA

Trouble, Taxes and Trust

TROUBLE: I am having trouble uploading my files. I can't edit any of my web sites, and I have been unable to figure out the problem. Sooo frustrating. I am praying for my computer, the server and me.

TAXES: What a day! We're trying to do our income tax returns. We use Intuit Tax software and it's pretty good, but it doesn't find lost info when you've put it away somewhere safe in tho office so you'll have it for tax time. The software does do a decent job of walking you through your return and you can see exactly what you have already done. Now, if it could just find the funds to pay what we owe... much more than expected.

TRUST: I choose to trust the Lord. He is in control even when I am not. He has never let me down. Oh sure, I have had to endure pain, heartache and troubles, just like anyone else. The difference is I know my Lord loves me and will not allow anything without purpose and a good outcome in the end. He has also saved my bacon time and again and performed some pretty amazing miracles for me. He is, indeed, the author and finisher of my faith.

TODAY: The wonderful ladies of the Women of Grace met today as we do every Thursday morning. They enrich my life! My sweet hubby cooked dinner for us! A rarity. He scrambled eggs to serve with hamburger steaks and biscuits. Very tasty!

TOMORROW: Good Friday. There will be a noon church service at First Baptist Church. I will be there, God willing. I will contemplate that long ago Friday when Jesus suffered more than any man has ever suffered... and I will remember that He did it for me... and you.

Meanwhile, I pray for my computer and money to pay the taxes... and I praise God because these small things are the extent of my woes. How good is our God!

Perspectives

Depending on your perspective, this is either an early blog (since I usually post late) or a very, very late blog (since I haven't posted in several days. I prefer the former outlook. Funny, I don't recall that the days ever went by so fast in former years. Weeks can come and go while I am still thinking in terms of hours.

I have a special folder called "Action Files" where I put notes, letters, or other components of things I need to act on. One of my therapists came up with the idea, and it is a great one. I am supposed to work on that folder every Wednesday. I see that it has been over a month since I poked around in there and many of the things are now either too late to do are are badly overdue. That points back to using my planner.

Richard reminded me about my planner the other day, pointing out how many days had no entry and the other days which had been planned but were not checked off, as if I had made the plan for the day then forgot all about USING that plan. He was right. I get started on something, then something else comes to mind and I am up and off doing the new thing, leaving the first task half done and never thinking to look in my planner. Then a third thing gets my attention and I'm going in a new direction... ad nauseum all day long. So at the end of the day I'm tired from being busy all day, yet have not finished one thing. Worse than that, I have left a mess everywhere I went and when I go back to work on any of those tasks again I have no clue where to start nor what I did with the components of what I was working on!

How did I end up going into all that? Oh yes, late (or missing) blogs. Well, today my mind is all over the map. On to another locale.

Richard was at the church Monday measuring an area they might put a fence across. He noticed a house that looked gutted. He took me there yesterday to have a look. The exterior didn't look bad, but the interior had indeed been gutted. He's going to check into the ownership and see if they might want to sell. It brings up Alabama memories... we worked two years there on run down houses we bought. We've still got one of them up for sale.

Well, seems like I've typed a lot and said little. Perhaps this is more of a journal than a blog. In my journals I just wrote whatever, good or bad, not thinking about anyone ever reading what I wrote. But since I've been blogging, I don't seem to journal any more. Interesting, one of my readers said when she read my blogs, she felt like we were old friends just visiting over coffee. I liked that a lot.
So on this rainy April day, I give thanks to God that I am alive in this place and at this time... and I am thankful for you.

Of Blogs and Journals

I love Sundays. My church family, like my earthly family, always bless me... and as the years go by, I am increasingly interdependent with both. Too bad, I was so task oriented for the majority of my life. I missed a lot simply trying to get everything done. My motor runs fast, but not as fast as it used to.

After church we went out to eat with a group from the Seniors Sunday school class. We always enjoy these outings so much. Good conversations, good food, good friends. Once we were home, I took a nap that lasted all afternoon. I didn't wake up until almost time to go to evening church. Now I'm tired again, so this will be a short blog.

Speaking of blogs, I started blogging August 9, 2005, and my blog appears in four places on the web:

• 
  http://www.fbcgalt.org/iona's_blog.htm
• 
  http://ionanet.com/blog/ionasblog.htm
• 
  http://myspace.com/ionaruth
• 
  http://360.yahoo.com/ionaruth

Why post the same blog in all those places? Because in each place I reach a different kind of reader. I am actually quite surprised at the response from the different sites. Then there is the question of what my blog is about, what's its purpose? Does it have a theme? No one knows for sure... especially me. My posts are all over the literary map. Here's how I described it on Blogger:

It's a journal. It's a devotional. It's a record of a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) survivor. It's documentation of God's activities in real time. There are good days and bad, happy times and sad... I tell it like it is. This is an unscripted walk along the meandering paths of my mind. My life has never been dull... and I've never known boredom. Read on, you'll see...

But that is not quite accurate. Before I was blogging, I kept a journal on my own computer. My blogs are written knowing others might read them... indeed a great number of all kinds of "others" DO read them. But my journals were between God and me. I wrote in a different style and opened my thoughts in a more intimate way. I have been uploading my journals (as opposed to blogs) to http://livejournal.com and I've been reading through them as I went, and I noticed a distinct difference.

So, for me at least, a journal differs from a blog. Yet I see that I wrote very few journal entries after I started blogging. Well, I'm too tired to analyze tonight... AWAT

A Sensational Saturday

We are in the midst of the rainy season and indeed there is much flooding. Weeds have been growing like weeds in our yard. I've been longing for a warm sunny day to pull them before they take over and while their roots can still be gently coaxed from the sodden soil. Well, in spite of the forecast, we had a perfectly lovely and sunny Saturday, praise God.

Friday afternoon, we went to look at a mobile home for sale near Walnut Grove. We found several main roads closed due to flooding and the river looked ominously overfull with churning eddies and dangerous cross currents. I used to be a very strong swimmer but doubt I'd have been a match for these murky waters. The ride was a nice break, and the pretty young realtor a dedicated soul, but the mobile home was horridly overpriced!

California housing costs are out of this world! Our rent is low for the area but it's high for us! I wonder how folks can afford to live here... We can't. Every month, the Lord does a miracle with our finances and we get by, but we are diligently seeking some way to cut our housing expense.

But I'm off on a rabbit trail again. Back to my Saturday. We worked in the yard. It was fun and we got a lot done... much still needs done, too. I came inside to fix supper and then the fun really began!

I was using a macaroni and cheese recipe out of my Italian cookbook. It called for scalding some milk in one pan, melting some butter and adding flour in another pan and combining them after the butter-flour mixture had cooked a few minutes. I should have known that would lead to trouble...

I had the milk on a low burner and had just gotten the butter out of the frig when my slow cooker leapt from its home atop the frig to the floor where the pottery insert crashed with an incredibly loud and shrill sound. Richard came running in to see if I was okay and the phone began to ring. It was Donna. Like an idiot, I talked with her instead of having her call back.

Richard was sweeping up the remains of my crock pot, I was talking with Donna and melting butter in a sauce pan, the milk, which the cookbook cautioned not to boil, had boiled over unnoticed, and my Teflon safe utensil was on fire. I mentioned the fire to Donna and we both decided to visit later. Oh yes, using a fringed dish towel for a pot holder, I had moved the boiling pot of pasta to the back burner so I could use the front for my sauce. In doing so, the fringe brushed the burner and burst into flames.

Somehow we ate. The macaroni and cheese was a bit dry (I forgot to replace all the milk lost in the boil-over). I was proud that throughout all the culinary capers I did not flood (when the brain becomes overwhelmed and stops processing info, common in TBI survivors). My brain continued to function, sort of. The kitchen, of course, was a shambles. I left it that way. We took our food to the office and ate while we goofed off on the computers.

Later, I had one of my TBI headaches... a real killer. Now, it's gone and I have just gone in to clean the kitchen. The stove was a major mess. I should have dealt with it right away; it would have saved a ton of work.

Now, I am just tired. I am so thankful Richard did laundry and changed the bed. He's fast asleep and I will soon be the same way. Had a great day in spite of the fiasco in the kitchen. God is good. Life is fun.

This Was Thursday

I have great news about several of my children. One daughter, Kim, was promoted to Lieutenant Colonel.. That's only two steps from General. I've never written much about my children because I was concerned they may not be pleased about me doing so. I know Richard doesn't mind, but I was not sure our grown children would be happy if I said a lot about them.

Then another daughter, the beautiful, multitalented Athena, joined Myspace. I was completely thrilled with that. She left me a URL for another place where she Journals, or Blogs (who knows the correct term?) I read every year and page she wrote since 2003 when she started... Just finished. I was like meeting her on a whole new level... and it was wonderful! When she started, it was to be a private journal, but somehow her best friend found out, and the rest is history, so they say.

Athena's space is http://myspace.com/cybrgrl and she is currently in my "top eight" at http://myspace.com/ionaruth That may not always be the case because I change my "top eight" often... not because I as fickle and change my feelings, but because I don't want to play the popularity game... That way no one is shown preference and everyone will be on the list at least part of the time UNLESS they have something on their space I would rather not quick link my visitors to.

But back to my family. Kim has managed a family and a very high powered military career as has her sister Tami. They are both officers. I have two other military daughters, just as wonderful, who are not officers but are also raising families and managing demanding military careers. Wonderwomen all!

I will talk more about my family after I receive a nod of approval or perhaps not...

I didn't post an entry yesterday. The day had been too full for me and there was no brain power nor indeed physical energy left by the time I got home from "Group."

Morning is a hard ime for me. I have a "morning list" to be sure I do all the AM necessities of my person and home, like brushing of teeth, etc. but on some mornings I don't use it. This was one of them and things didn't run smoothly... not until I got to Margaret's home where the Women of Grace were meeing for our monthly birthday celebration. No one had a birthday, but we celebrated anyway with a luscious lunch Margaret fixed. I left early to get to Group on time... but was still late.

Group: Once a month I meet with one of my doctors and a few other brain injured persons. We discuss our several successes and brainstorm ways to cope and strategies to help us function better. I have to work at keeping my focus on what is being said. That's true of every conversation for me, but more intently so here because I so desperately need what I get here. The same is true of my visits to my two head injury doctors. Our normal meeting is one hour and I am wiped out for the rest of the day. Yesterday, some of us stayed on after the doctor left. We discussed a mutual problem and possible solutions for some time.

I had to rest in my car before driving home. Again, that is not uncommon after a visit to the store or a doctor's appointment, church, Bible study or any other venue where I struggle to keep track of conversation, story line, tasks, etc. What you do on autopilot, I have to think about and concentrate to do. Thinking so much makes me physically as well as mentally tired. So, last night I basically did nothing. I tried to read Athena's journals but could not focus and track a line of words or a development of thought... I was out of it.

Lost & Late

I did paperwork all morning, catching up on bookkeeping and paying bills. By noon, I was tired of it but not finished. Richard came home for an hour after working 8 hours and had to leave for another five and a half hour stint... They are short handed. He's always good natured and willing to bridge the gap.

I'm a very lucky lady to share my life with a guy like that. He looks after me, makes sure I get to appointments, etc. He calls to make sure I'm up and dressed on time and checks up on me when I go places. He does it in such a sweet way and is never condescending about it. He got me out off a jam this evening, too.

Tonight was the premier meeting of the new ladies Bible study. I had directions sent by Terry, I had a Mapquest map, I had detailed verbal directions from my honey who knows Galt like the back of his hand... I even left 30 minutes early!

Just a few minutes after I left the house I realized I didn't have my cell phone. Never mind," I thought, "I can find my way." Amazingly, I remembered Richard's directions... or so I thought! But I must have turned them around some way because I could not find the street.

Soon I discovered I had neither the map I printed nor Terry's directions. I still had plenty of time, so I began asking people. None of them gave good directions. Now, I was going to be late. I drove to the church so I could call for directions and let everyone know why I was late.

The phone is one of those fancy kinds with all sorts of buttons and I couldn't make it work right away. Finally, I was able to call out. The ladies had turned off their cell phones I guess because I only reached voice mail for them.

I called Cathy and talked with Pastor Rob who told me how to get on the computer where I brought up a map. I tried to print it only to discover the printer was so slow to warm up, my meeting would be over before I got a map. I then carefully wrote out directions and headed out again. I was already 30 minutes late.

I'm not sure if I was heading in the right direction, but soon saw Richard's cute little red pickup flashing its lights behind me. He led me to the Bible study and when it was over, Terry led my out... back to the church. I know my way home from church.

The Bible study was good even though I was late and two ladies didn't make it... I am excited about it. We have a wonderful group of ladies and will learn much from each other.

I'm going to make a few test runs before next week.

Nice to Be Home

Donna and I had a safe trip home from Stanford. She looked better this time. Last time her skin looked almost green, not yellow, green! It worried me. I was thankful she didn't look like a Martian this trip, LOl. She reads this and I know she'll have something to say about that!

It was raining or threatening to rain most of the two days we were away, and now there are flood warnings in our part of the state. Sort of reminds me of my yesterday's blog about gluttony... too much of a good thing can lead to trouble. I am praying for those whose property or lives may be in danger of water damage.

I am so proud of Richard. The house is nice and neat and even the kitchen is clean, but he cooked and ate here, including veggies! He's sort of a meat and potatoes kind of guy and has been known to call cake a vegetable. I try to sneak healthy foods into his diet, but it's hard to trick him.

So, here I am back in my cozy and cluttered little office with my Sweetie who is playing games on Pogo. We spend a lot of time in the office together. It's good to be home with nothing I need to do right away... lots I maybe should do, but nothing that can't wait until tomorrow.

Gluttony

I overate. The food was gourmet... and I loved it... and ate more than I should have. Now I am uncomfortable. Gluttony has its consequences.

The Bible wisely tells us to let moderation be our rule of thumb. Even the "best" of things can be harmful if overdone. Gluttony usually refers to gastronomic overindulgence, but the concept could apply to anything taken to excess.

Anything that would tempt us to overindulge could also become something which might be capable of taking an inordinate first place in our lives. The idols that tempt us are not crafted of precious metal or carved in wood or stone as were those of Bible times. The idols to which we fall prey are such things as food, alcohol, money, drugs, cigarettes, position, popularity and the opinion of others. They are all the more dangerous because we do not recognize them as idols.

Anything that becomes a primary focus of your life is an idol... including the good things like family and food and even church. Notice, I didn't say Jesus. HE is who should be the primary focus in our lives. He will help us put the good things in proper perspective and get rid of the not so good stuff.

So, as I sit here uncomfortably overstuffed, I leave you with this challenge: Take a close look at the priorities in your life. Where do you spend most of your thought energy, time and money? Your "god" may not be God at all... or indeed He may be Lord of your life... still a good idea to take stock, and often.

Byways of Thought

A beautiful, rainy Sunday afternoon! Church was wonderful... it usually is. I got the April Issue of Handmaidens finished a few minutes before April 1, so spent the biggest part of today relaxing... even left dishes in the sink... haven't done that in a while.

Richard and I went to Wal-Mart to pick up my prescription. He went in and I waited in the truck. Nice. I love Wal-Mart, but like most big, busy stores, it sort of fries my brain. Plus I always run into folks I used to work with and I feel bad I'm not there any more. I usually go back to the Layaway area and look at the manager's wall. I still get a twinge of sadness that my picture is gone. They left it up a long while after I got hurt... I appreciate that. They, like I, thought I might be able to come back. Now, I guess everyone has given up on that.

Nonetheless, life is good!! Last evening, Richard and I went to our favorite restaurant. Located a bit off the beaten path, it's in Isleton, CA. The food is wonderful and a friend works there, so we get a double blessing, not to mention the great drive along the river.

I am going to Stanford a day early this time. Donna and I usually go every two weeks and spend Tuesday and Wednesday there, but this time it's Monday and Tuesday. I had forgotten, but she faithfully called to remind me.

So now we've wandered the meandering byways of my thought processes and come to the point where fatigue has set in... All I need do is give God the glory and think up a title.